"What we dream about" by Lin Hierse: A novel about dreams, identity and family

In her debut "What We Dream About", published in 2022, journalist and author Lin Hierse accompanies the protagonist on her search for her own identity.

The story begins with the young woman traveling to China to bury her grandmother. Next to her is her mother, who left the country many years ago, not for a better life, but for a different one. The novel takes place before this German-Chinese migration story, but offers many other facets: it poses questions about closeness, distance, demarcation, not least about origin, and is ostensibly the story of a mother-daughter relationship in which all these themes find a place for negotiation.

The funeral of her Chinese grandmother prompts the protagonist to ask herself questions about this woman's life and that of her mother before she left China. The search for a firm place in the world resonates throughout, both when looking back into the history of her family and when looking at her own life. There is a search for traces in the memories of the mother's earlier life, which also tell of the painful farewell to her homeland. In her relationship with her mother, the daughter moves between rapprochement, the "wanting to do everything right" and conscious demarcation, the need to be different from her. A visit to the hairdresser or cooking rice thus becomes more than just an everyday act - rather, they involve a confrontation with expectations placed on oneself and those imposed from outside. In her relationship with her mother, she negotiates her belonging, her own identity.

"Now I ask myself whether there can ever be a balance between the desire to belong and the desire to be unique."

With its clear, pared-down language, coupled with vivid and poignant images, the novel creates a dreamlike atmosphere that envelops the reader. The motif of the dream also runs through the entire story, in the form of life dreams, fulfilled and shattered dreams, or really dreamed illusions.

"You don't just become a dreamer, you have to make the effort, and that takes strength. You know that, perhaps better than anyone else. You've done so much so that I can allow myself to dream."

Lin Hierse deals with the topic of the search for identity in poetic and sensitive language, creates a complex and emotional mother-daughter relationship and manages to tell the story of a young woman's search for her place between cultures in a moving way, while at the same time linking it to a chapter of German-Chinese history that has been little discussed to date.

"My name should be Chinese, but still make it easy for people. As we dance around puddles, I think that maybe that's exactly why I am the way I am. One that tries to be Chinese while still being easy to digest, although the two together are rather futile."